Just wondering- do you ever ponder the behaviour you role model to your teens?

Being a parent can be exhausting!

So much responsibility...

Do you ever hear your teen say something that makes you wince, and think, "Oh that sounds just like me!"?

Do you ever see them roll their eyes, or make a face, and recognise the expression a little too much?!

You are not alone!

It isn't just toddlers who copy their parents (and come out with eye wateringly embarrassing phrases at the checkout in Sainsbury's!).

Teenagers will role model their parents' behaviour too, even if they would be mortified to realise it.

Of course, they will have other role models in friends, or celebrities, which will be harder for us to influence, so all we can do is to make sure that the behaviour, moods, expressions and words they experience from us are positive, and useful to them, for dealing with life.

We all try to model helpful behaviours, but it never hurts to take a moment to reflect, and reinforce just how important this may be.

Our teens won't be carbon copies of us, and will bring their own personalities to shape their responses, but if they experience constant irritation from us, or explosive anger, rudeness to strangers (for example to receptionists or shop staff), frequent tears, blaming others when things go wrong in life, or lack of respect (for example, for each other's roles as parents, or shouting at other drivers on the roads) it is likely that they will react similarly to us.

We cannot realistically expect anything else.

They are always watching and observing- absorbing.

Sometimes we will need to take a breath, dig deep, and model patience (even when they, or the world, are driving us mad), respect, self control, responsibility for our mistakes, and politeness to strangers - exhausting as it may sometimes be- to help  our teens to develop into kind, respectful members of the family (and society)!

Being a parent isn't easy- we all know that- and we won't get it right all the time- but this is something we can control and influence for the better. It may take practice and patience - but it will be absolutely worth it longer term.

And remember -if you mess it up one day, talk to your teen about it, and be open, explain that you are trying your best (role model honesty) and try afresh the next time. We can only do our best!